“Nothing is worth more than this day. You cannot relive yesterday. Tomorrow is still beyond your reach.”

"They are non-judgmentally, one-mindfully, and effectively. 

Defined: Notice and don’t assess. There is no “good,” “bad,” “right,” or “wrong” when you’re being non-judgmental. The facts (who, what, when, where, and why) are to be taken into account; personal opinion is not.  

Examples:

• “The sky is blue,” not “the sky is blue and I hate the color blue.” 
• “I’m really tired,” not “I’m really tired because I’m lazy and incapable.” 
• “I’ve been having a hard time lately,” not “I’m having a hard time because I’m a failure and can’t do anything right.” 
• “This conversation is making me feel angry,” not “I’m getting angry because Sharon is being ridiculous; she’s always out to get me!”

Practice: Try to be non-judgmental in at least one situation today. If at any point you notice yourself judging, don’t judge any further. Noticing your judgmental thoughts is a sign of progress! So if it happens, accept that it did and then try to move your thoughts back to a non-judgmental stance. You may have to do this several times.

Defined: This is a very important skill, as it’s an underlying requirement to truly master the majority of the other skills.  One-mindfully is about taking control of your mind, and rooting yourself in the present moment. One-mindfully has to do with accepting that the present moment is really all we can control. 

 Examples:

• When you’re doing something, do only that thing. 
• While reading, just read. If you find yourself lost in your thoughts, re-read the page over and over again until you’re completely in the moment. 
• While eating, just eat. Don’t eat while watching TV or while driving. Take your time noticing and enjoying the taste of your meal.
• While taking a shower, focus solely on the task at hand. Bathe yourself and pay attention to the feel of the water hitting your back. 
• If you start thinking about anything other than the task at hand, gently bring yourself back to the present moment. Do this over and over again if necessary.

Practice:  Find a task to be mindful of today. Do only that thing. Lose yourself in the task at hand. Bring focus back to what you are doing repeatedly if necessary. Reading and puzzles are my favorite ways to do this.

Defined: To be effective is to do what works. It’s not to do what you believe is “right,” “wrong,” “fair,” or “unfair.” 

Example: A family is behind on rent. Their child really wants money for a new gaming console, but the parents know they can’t afford it. Although they’re sad because they cannot provide their child with the money, they know it’s the best choice for now. Likewise, though frustrated, the child learns to effectively understand that their parents cannot afford the gaming console right then.  

 Practice:  Think of the last time you fought hard to make your point. Did you do what was effective, or did you “cut off your nose to spite your face?”