Imperfection is not our personal problem — it is a natural part of existing.
Tara Brach, Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life...
Radical Acceptance is NOT
Radical Acceptance is NOT
Radical Acceptance is NOT
Agreeing with the current circumstances, approving of current actions made by ourselves or others, enjoying the way things are, becoming complacent in recovery.
Radical Acceptance IS
Radical Acceptance is NOT
Radical Acceptance is NOT
Reaching a point of complete and total acceptance of the way things are in the current moment, letting go of damaging/stressful judgments attached to things we cannot change anyway, accepting events that are not in our control, embracing the inevitable imperfections of life.
STEPS TO RADICAL ACCEPTANCE
- Notice any attempts you are making at fighting reality. Are you using statements involving the word “should?” For example, are you assuming things should be a certain way even though they aren’t? Are you insisting that your loved one should be capable of something they insist they are not? Are you stuck in a rut of thinking something should not have happened to you? Do not judge yourself for having these thoughts, simply notice and acknowledge that they are there.
- Consider and work towards accepting the idea of the situation not being changeable, whether you think it “should” be or not. Note that this is how things are and there is nothing you can do to change it, at least not in the present moment.
- Remind yourself that there are reasons behind the experience you are having. Rewind and trace back to the source of the situation.
- Use self-soothing skills and related coping skills to help ease yourself into acceptance, reminding yourself over and over that this is the way things are and you cannot change it.
- Imagine that you have already accepted reality. How would you react? For example, if you accepted a breakup, would you focus more on caring for yourself? Engage in this act as if you have already accepted reality even if you have not. Going back to the breakup example, you could do activities that promote self healing and growth even if you are still caught up in the “should.”
- Allow any feelings of sadness or grief to come and visit. Do not fight them. Use coping skills to feel the emotions that need to be felt in order to reach a place of acceptance.
- Remind yourself that despite the pain you may be feeling, life is still worth living. Be particularly mindful of the tiny joys in life. Is your dog playful today? Are your loved ones checking in on you? Did you find a new and exciting show to watch on TV? Is the sun shining? Note all of it and work on comprehending the idea that these things will still be there even if you accept the uncomfortable reality of what you are giving up.
- If you find yourself still resisting reality, engage in skills to examine the reasons why. Check the facts of why you are not accepting what is. Apply problem solving by doing a pros and cons list of acceptance if needed.
- BREATHE! New, more positive realities will come. Hang tight.
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